I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
