I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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