Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I have fence marks all over my body
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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