I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Randomize
