but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
