She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
