How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
