Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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