he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Farmville is her only friend.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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