butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
