So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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