what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
