im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
