That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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