I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
