He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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