i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
