Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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