How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
