she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
