I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
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