you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
The air taste purple.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
