We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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