Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
