ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
