is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
