Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
