I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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