Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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