I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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