# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
