theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
