My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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