just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
