You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
