I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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