I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
