It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize