i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
