Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
