Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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