Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
