O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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