Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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