I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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