i don't like sucking hair
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
