why didn't you poke me back
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
