did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
