Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
