just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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