So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
