They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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