my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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